Then I Spoke Up and That Dysfunctional Family Dynamic Changed

Then for the hundredth time she laughed at our dysfunction. She made a joke she had made a hundred times about how dad had gotten drunk, again, and drove her to a local retail store. He asked her to get out of the car. They stood and looked at a barrel. Dad used that barrel to discuss life being empty and full. All of this because his sister called and said his daughter might be doing drugs. Dad’s way of handling that was to get drunk, drive his daughter somewhere his inebriated mind could come up with, and then use whatever he could to come up with an illustration that would help him basically tell his daughter don’t do drugs. My sister tells this story over and over again and she laughs.

The rest of the room laughs. It took me years to notice. When I did I stopped laughing. I delved deep into myself. Keeping quiet and thinking bad thoughts. I bitched to my adult kids about the dysfunction. About how family get togethers are dysfunctional at best. At how we have no relationship and just show up and make jokes about serious family problems. I get angry. I clam up. I decide to keep showing up, but just not say anything. They keep laughing, we keep not having good relationships, and I keep getting angry.

Despondency sets in. It’s a good point to be at. I finally do something that frees me from their dysfunction. I…