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How Self-Assessments Can Be Used To Benchmark Reality and Lead To Discovering Your Real Self
I’m sitting in a Catholic church during lunch wondering how in the hell I got there. I understand that I am an ex-ministry leader who has struggled to find her way for too many years. I am Reformed for god’s sake, at least I think I am, or maybe I was. I have a fresh tattoo, can’t wait to drink my next Jameson and Ginger Ale, and wonder if they will kick me out because I don’t remember any of the words. Something in me finds solace in the stained glass, quiet, reverence, absence of a worship band, distance from the priest, and brevity of the service. For the moment I am where I am supposed to be.
I can hear the loud voice in my head tell me that their doctrine is messed up, but there are so many sincere people here. I can hear mom making fun of their ability to get a quickie for God. I remember her arguing with the priests because she couldn’t take communion and starting trouble in the next church because they didn’t speak tongues. I feel dizzy thinking about all the times I was told to read this, attend this many times, this is right, they are wrong, you should, don’t, do, be, go, and stay. I seriously have no idea what I want or if I have the right to figure out what works for me at this stage of life.
“No human being can find genuine meaning in their life…
